The Stuff That Stole Christmas
Rachael Benion, 2024
Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot,
But the Parents, who had seen too much, surely did not.
Their homes had been buried with knick-knacks and toys,
With blaring alarms and loud beeping joys.
They scowled at the dolls, at the stacks and the mess.
They sighed at the clutter, the noise, and the stress.
And they growled, “Can’t we stop it? The gifts and the buying?
For the love of all silent nights, at least we could try it!”
For Christmas had changed, oh, how it had morphed!
From moments of wonder to plastic galorephed.
The lights and the batteries, the beeps and the singing,
Enough to make even a Christmas bell-ringer go ringing.
And the gifts stacked so high they could touch the Who-roof,
More piles of toys than even Santa’s spoof.
And just as they knew the situation was dire,
Another box came with “Some Assembly Required!”
Every Parent’s patience grew thinner, you see,
As they eyed the mountain under the family tree.
“Why must it be things?” the Parents would moan.
“Things that beep, things that break, things that ring on their own!”
Then one parent stood up, inspired and bold,
“To break from the wrapping and junk ten-fold!
Instead of more stuff, more mess, and more piles,
Let’s gift them the world, new memories, and smiles!”
So they thought of zoo trips, and museums, and hikes,
Of sledding and skating, of toys they’d like—
Toys not built of plastic but memories shared,
Moments to treasure and hold in their care.
So with that, they began their new Christmas plan,
With a list of experiences, not only Big Man.
A family-wide memory, an adventure a day,
For laughter and joy won’t fade away.
And down in the Whos’ homes, the kids woke to find,
A Christmas less cluttered but merry and kind.
And they cheered, “It’s the best!” as they clutched their small list,
Not one gift to break, or go lost, or be missed.
Why Experiences Beat Stuff (a.k.a. How to Avoid Renting a Dumpster Post-Christmas)
Now that you’ve had a poetic epiphany, let’s talk about why this Christmas, the best thing you can give your kids might just be… a ticket out of the toy avalanche.
Because here’s the hard truth: stuff piles up. Just ask me about the year I rented a dumpster the week after Christmas. It was a parenting hack to end all parenting hacks: if your kids refuse to clean up, rent a dumpster, park it in the driveway directly under the second-story playroom, and start chucking toys out the window like some kind of maniacal Christmas Grinch. You’ll be amazed at how quickly they find every missing LEGO and misplaced doll shoe. (And please, follow me for more tips on ensuring your kids will need future therapy.)
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Between giving experience gifts and Junk Tank’s legendary decluttering services, we’re not just limiting the clutter—we’re actively waging war on it. 🎁✨
This year, skip the endless piles of plastic toys and gift wrap carnage. With Junk Tank in your corner, you can enjoy the holidays with less mess and more memories. Ready to declutter your space and your mind? Junk Tank’s got your back! 💪
The funny thing is, despite all that “stuff,” I can count on one hand the toys my kids actually remember. The remote-controlled car? Long gone. The talking Elsa doll? We finally removed the batteries for our sanity. But the times we spent sledding, hiking, or going to the science museum? Those are the memories that stick.
Give the Gift of Experiences: Building Memories That Last
So why gift experiences instead of things? It’s simple: our brains remember moments, not objects. As fun as that light-up, music-playing, “educational” toy might seem, the odds of it being meaningful come January are pretty slim. But that day at the zoo? The cake-decorating class? Those are episodic memories—meaningful moments that kids can revisit again and again, the kind of memories that shape who they are and, dare we say it, make them a little easier to buy gifts for when they’re older.
The Ultimate Guide to Experience Gifts (aka, A Clutter-Free Christmas!)
If you’re ready to give the gift of memories, check out our Ultimate Experience Gift Guide for Harrisburg, Mechanicsburg, Camp Hill, and beyond! We’ve rounded up the best spots for family bonding, from art classes to trampoline parks to museum passes. Here’s a sneak peek:
- Art & Maker Spaces: Get creative at spots like Color Me Mine or Create-a-Palooza, where your kids can paint, craft, and bring home something they made (bonus: these items are actually cherished instead of tossed).
- Trampoline Parks & Go-Karts: If your kids have more energy than a puppy on caffeine, a day at Get Air or Urban Air might be just what they need (and a little cardio for you, too!).
- Museums & Historical Sites: Give your kids a chance to experience the wonders of science at the Whitaker Center or step back in time at the National Civil War Museum. These experiences create lasting memories (and learning disguised as fun).
- Escape Rooms, Rage Rooms, & More: Perfect for families with older kids who love a challenge. Why let them just play video games when they can work together to solve real-life puzzles or smash some old electronics?
- Movie Theaters & Live Shows: For a family who loves the spotlight, tickets to a play or movie are the gift that keeps on giving—and doesn’t take up any space in the toy chest.
Why Memories Mean More
When it comes to what kids remember, it’s not the pile of things under the tree that makes a lasting impact. It’s the laughter, the shared wonder, the stories told and retold about “the time we all went roller skating” or “the time Dad got stuck in the go-kart.” These memories are the ultimate gifts because they grow over time. And hey, they’re not only stress-free but also storage-free!
So, let’s take a page from our poem this year and shift from clutter to connection, from things to experiences. Trust me—when your kids are grown, they won’t remember the year Elsa’s head fell off, but they will remember the time you all painted pottery together, or the thrill of their first go-kart race, or the way you all laughed during that family sledding trip.
Merry (and clutter-free) Christmas, everyone! 🎄 And may your holiday be filled with joy, laughter, and just a sprinkle of parental mischief. 🎁
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Speaking of survival tips, join our Facebook Group, Macaroni Village of South Central PA, a collaboration across all three regions where we swap stories, share holiday hacks, and collectively try to figure out how to make bedtime happen before Santa’s sleigh rolls in. It’s a Christmas miracle waiting to happen! 🎄💬
Disclaimer: While the opinions, ideas, creative writing, and the bulk of the brilliance are all mine, I confess that I enlist the help of ChatGPT for grammar checks, minor edits, and revisions. Why? Because AI is the friendliest grammarian I know—no red pen, no judgment, just pure, unadulterated love for a well-placed comma. So if you find any rogue semicolons or unnaturally perfect phrasing, you can thank my digital editor for that.
